All I Can Say

I am not really sure what day it is, my journey at sea has produced confusion to the day and time. My ship knows only the way to shore or at least I hope it does. I am the Captain, but my crew leads me. My decisions dictate our course, but inside I know that I need to be lead by something that I can’t describe. Something deeper from within… something I can’t explain, and refuse to. It is the innermost feeling of the gut that makes my decision. What is it saying now?

Charting a course becomes unnecessary, the course is now determined by the cold dark sea. I am only hopeful that I can deliver my crew to safety if the storm challenges me. I know that the storm is strong, stronger than I am, but I am built and trained for this mentally challenging situation and more nimble than the first mate that I was before this journey.

Now I push on, wondering if I should turn back, or move to a place of safety? Why should I risk security for the spoils of beating the storm, should I be enjoying the fight, the journey? Or is it something else that I am searching for? Is it the reflection of the dark water of the calm sea that I crave? Seeing my reflection in the water feeling at ease. The understanding that I have accomplished the task, or survived the trashing of the beast. Is what I see a reflection of a tired old sailor?

It is now my turn to make the move, the decision, the choice… Only I am sure that I will survive…as long as I am alive…

-JMS

I was asked by a fellow “Mac” user to post a great e-mail sent out today by Larry, Robin, Jonathan, & Genny since they didn’t get the e-mail. It is story or similar nature… (I thought that this post should have some sort of theme).

It speaks directly to me although I can say that I don’t think that it is attended for me. It is a poem that reminds us that life travels around us and gifts are sometimes more powerful when you can hold them in your heart and not your hands…..


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A few members of our community are experiencing especially difficult times. To honor their requests and out of respect for their circumstances, it is not appropriate to mention their names. For each of them and for everyone, we offer this poem.

Larry, Robin, Jonathan, & Genny

“Whatever It Is”

Near the end we’ll travel as two old men

Leaning lightly on one another for support—

One of us gone a little milky-eyed,

The other a little deaf.

We’ll pack what we need in a cheap valise,

Taking turns so it’s not too heavy.

When one of us tires, we’ll stop awhile

And build a fire to warm our hands.

You’ll have then to describe to me

The woods’ deep green, the cobalt sky.

I’ll point you where the nighthawk calls

So that you see what I hear, so we know…

Whatever it is we come to,

We’ll travel toward together.

So when we’re knocked apart at last

Something of each will go with the other.

Two old men hunched to the curve of the earth

And biding a little time between them—

Here is my shoulder steady for you,

Even this long since we started the journey.

–Jim Simmerman, Once Out of Nature


Thanks guys….

Peace
-j-