All I Can Say

I am not really sure what day it is, my journey at sea has produced confusion to the day and time. My ship knows only the way to shore or at least I hope it does. I am the Captain, but my crew leads me. My decisions dictate our course, but inside I know that I need to be lead by something that I can’t describe. Something deeper from within… something I can’t explain, and refuse to. It is the innermost feeling of the gut that makes my decision. What is it saying now?

Charting a course becomes unnecessary, the course is now determined by the cold dark sea. I am only hopeful that I can deliver my crew to safety if the storm challenges me. I know that the storm is strong, stronger than I am, but I am built and trained for this mentally challenging situation and more nimble than the first mate that I was before this journey.

Now I push on, wondering if I should turn back, or move to a place of safety? Why should I risk security for the spoils of beating the storm, should I be enjoying the fight, the journey? Or is it something else that I am searching for? Is it the reflection of the dark water of the calm sea that I crave? Seeing my reflection in the water feeling at ease. The understanding that I have accomplished the task, or survived the trashing of the beast. Is what I see a reflection of a tired old sailor?

It is now my turn to make the move, the decision, the choice… Only I am sure that I will survive…as long as I am alive…

-JMS

I was asked by a fellow “Mac” user to post a great e-mail sent out today by Larry, Robin, Jonathan, & Genny since they didn’t get the e-mail. It is story or similar nature… (I thought that this post should have some sort of theme).

It speaks directly to me although I can say that I don’t think that it is attended for me. It is a poem that reminds us that life travels around us and gifts are sometimes more powerful when you can hold them in your heart and not your hands…..


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A few members of our community are experiencing especially difficult times. To honor their requests and out of respect for their circumstances, it is not appropriate to mention their names. For each of them and for everyone, we offer this poem.

Larry, Robin, Jonathan, & Genny

“Whatever It Is”

Near the end we’ll travel as two old men

Leaning lightly on one another for support—

One of us gone a little milky-eyed,

The other a little deaf.

We’ll pack what we need in a cheap valise,

Taking turns so it’s not too heavy.

When one of us tires, we’ll stop awhile

And build a fire to warm our hands.

You’ll have then to describe to me

The woods’ deep green, the cobalt sky.

I’ll point you where the nighthawk calls

So that you see what I hear, so we know…

Whatever it is we come to,

We’ll travel toward together.

So when we’re knocked apart at last

Something of each will go with the other.

Two old men hunched to the curve of the earth

And biding a little time between them—

Here is my shoulder steady for you,

Even this long since we started the journey.

–Jim Simmerman, Once Out of Nature


Thanks guys….

Peace
-j-

A Little R&R and the "New Challenge"

I am trying to take a real short vacation… Yes, that does happen when you are a PhD student. After three unsuccessful vacation attempts in the past three years, I have finally made it and it is nice.

The sad part is that even though I am away, I am still tied to my “crackberry” and my Macbook (I guess that some things never change). Staying connected helps me to stay focused on what is ahead in the remaining two and a half months of this semester.

So… I am soaking up the rays in central New York and doing very little. In just three short days, I will be back leading the way to expanding East Coast Medical into central Florida. This is what happens when you are in a PhD program… Life happens around you and you are forced to adapt. Much easier than it sounds.

Feeling good about the semester thus far…. but I am at a point where I am starting to wonder when this will all end and I will be back to relaxing on a more regular schedule… I guess that is what post doc work is all about?

-j-

Comps...On the Other Side

At this point about half of cohort one is on the other side (that is what we call it when you are done with primary comps). With secondary comps down the road, and work on the other little project (dissertation) I am feeling good.

I have to say that the big issue that I had is power. About eight hours in to my 72 hour test period, I lost power in a major electrical storm. Instead of waiting for it to return, I went to my second “secret” location to finish the test (no the vice president wasn’t there) Funny too that Rupert had the same issue. What do we learn from this experience? Prepare for the worst case situation happening and you will be fine.

Cohorts 2-5 are wondering what it is like, I will say only one thing….. prepare for the test by listening to your professors!

I am going to hope that the rest of cohort one has some time to chime in on this one with their comments. Being trailblazers in this process was stressful. I hope that we get a special award at graduation for this!

Going back to work….

-j-

Comps, Stress, and No Comments

We are gearing up to take comps (short for comprehensive exams) in the next couple weeks. My test period of 72 hours begins at noon on the 10th (shortly after I finish up praying at Sunday Mass). As cohort #1 We get more questions from cohorts 2-5 on what will the comps consist of? Will they be hard? Are you prepared? I know that we are the pioneers, but even cohort one is in the dark on this one. I guess that we will have to wait and see. I have been studying for a couple weeks now and feel fairly prepared. I am ready to take the test today, but know that I really have some more prep to do. I want to pretend that I already know what the question will be, but I don’t have a clue? Hopefully it will have to do with the topic of leadership? Some help or hints from the Profs would be welcomed to the blog (it might also help with readership).

On that note……I get a lot of readers to this blog…(trust me I hear all about it). The fact is that there are only a couple great people (I won’t give names) that have taken the time to post a response to what I have written.

Post some comments please! You will help keep this thing cutting edge!

Now, back to the stress of not knowing what is next but having a pretty good idea…

-j-

Home...Home Again...I Like to be Here...When I Can...

I am thrilled to be home and sleep in my bed tonight. Although Dion Sanders room (The U.S. Grant Suite) at the Garfield Suites is nice, it doesn’t hold a candle to seeing my family and eating food that I cook in my own kitchen.

Now it is time to prepare for the comps and work on my proposal. I am feeling good and very organized. Looking at the rain that we are expecting on Sunday, I will unpack and start getting organized for what will be a very busy six months.

I am still open to hearing more from the other learners. Send me your posts to: jeffrey.shepard@tui.edu and I will post them.

Going silent for a bit….. but not too long…..

-j-